Then 2 weeks later mom switched it to another fancy site she found on her own (ok but not exploring what I really wanted first). She was very critical that we wanted a small wedding where she could invite only 2 of her friends (I haven't seen since 13 yrs). Now dad uninvited my fiancee's mom from the food tasting b/c he'd prefer it was just us (we'd already invited her). My mom calls her behind my back and uninvites her "b/c only 4 people are allowed" (the site was flexible for 5!). I realized that I jumped in too quickly to have her plan the reception, b/c I was anxious, adreniline rushed & wanted things settled when we saw my parents the day after our engagement & they offered their house. Now I feel like I'm 29 and should be planning my own wedding, and they are more for show than anything else, but I think there are probably non-refundable deposits on the site, band, etc. I think my fiancee and I will not attend the tasting since they insulted his mom. Any other suggestions?
How should I respond to my parents controlling our wedding? They offered to have the reception at their house
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Call the caterer and explain there will be one additional person attending the tasting.
Call your mother-in-law-to-be and tell her that you and your fiance would love having her ride to the tasting with you and set a time to pick her up.
And, let her know that you, truly, want her to be there.
It was rude of your parents to exclude the mother of their future son-in-law. It is disrespectful to you, him and her.
You need to set some boundaries, with your parents, now.
You are right, it is improper ettiquette to put such a statement on an invitation. It is great that you want too include everyone, kids included. Suggestions...you could hire babysitters for the kids during the reception. If that is not possible perhaps you can work with your DJ. If you plan to dance with your Dad first, then have the DJ clear the floor so you are the center of attention. Have the groom invite his Mom to dance part way through the song you choose to dance too with his Mom. Then have the DJ invite all the parents in the room to come out and dance with thier children. Moms with thier sons, Dads with thier daughters. Then you change to dance with your new husband, after you do that for a while have the DJ direct the Moms and Dads to dance together. Ohh and it would be soo cute if there was a part of the bridal dance where you and your groom dance boogie down with all the kids. present. You can consider this a problem or an opportunity to build family bonds. If that doesnt work for you, can you set up a separate dance floor for the kids? Decorate it so its enticing to children. Or can you set up a supervised play area for the kids at your venue. I want to tell you though, this seems like a huge deal now, but when it might not be the day of the wedding. You will be visiting with people and too busy to notice some of the things you did at other weddings. Good luck and congratulations on your pending wedding.
Wow, are you my long lost twin?????????? Your story could be mine. I had my mom telling people what to do (like telling my broher not to take my nephew for a tux fitting at the rental place as we were buying him one from another store when they had a sale- NOT) and the list goes on. I sat her down and said she was NOT to give ANY directives, make any decisions, etc. as it was NOT her call and she would end up confusing people and ruinign already established plans. I alos told people close to me (like my brother) to NOT take any direction from her and unless it came from my fiance and/or me, it was not to be done. It's like I'm their puppet and they insist on putting on a dog and pony show. They are FURIOUS we are hosting the gift opening (a tradition in our area) at our home as dad wants to show off his ritzy home in an EXPENSIVE subdivision to my fiance's family. The bottom line is it is your day and you are in charge. I threatened my parents with cancelling everything and eloping they eventually backed off. Your folks sound like mine ("look what we did for our daughter" all on our own, "look how much we can afford") like you're their possession or something! Good luck, I feel your pain, and just remember, reign them in hard or from now until your wedding will be a nightmare. Good luck and best wishes!!
Grow a pair and take control. its you and your fiance's day you guys should be involved in a major part of the planning. If your parents are footing the bill then they do have alot of say in things, but if your fh and you are paying then tell mom to back off a bit and let you handle it.
Why is paying for the wedding? I'm sorry, but whoever is holding the purse strings makes the rules. I suggest you guys have a big meeting and bring it all our in the open. You should tell them that you definitely want to take part in planning YOUR wedding, but you also have to be prepared to shoulder the cost if they refuse to pay.
YOu've probably heard this before, but your mother loves you and is just trying to take care of you. Their baby is being taken away from them and they probably just want you for as much longer as they can. Unfortunately it seems they have gone a bit overboard though, and so you need to tell them. It dosen't need to be mean, but you just need to say "Mom, i know you love me but this is my wedding and I really want to plan it out. NOt to mention its not just your child whos getting married, its my fiances mother as well. I'm not asking you to completely back of, i just want you to allow myself and others to help."
hope that helps! :}
Who's paying?
The wallet makes decisions.
If you're brave enough to take on financial responsibility, then your brave enough to get your own way.
Never assume it's parents obligation to give you a wedding.
go to the tasting--try not to add to the problems it sounds like you have enough
just start by giving her guidelines, I suppose and be thankful that she is helping--you could be doing it all yourself and then you'd really be stressing. trust me.
i agree with stage maniac take control and don't underestimate the power of a threat. Have your mom call your fiance's mom and personally reinvite her and APOLOGIZE for her cruel and rude behavior! Good luck!
Why should she invite her friends it's your wedding!Calmly tell her it's your wedding and you feel like she's taking over.Have a good talk about things.