We will be doing a DNA test soon since the baby was just born 1 wk ago. We have 3 children ourselves and we love each other very much. He has proven to me that he regrets what he did deeply!! We are still together having Faith we can make it work. But sometimes I feel hopeless, especially when she still does everything possible to get his attention.
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I wont be like most posters and tell you he's not good or that you shouldn't forgive him or that you can't get beyond this.
My parents married very young (16 and 19) my dad had a fling or 1 night stand 2 years into his marriage to my mom, this resulted in a child (my half brother), my parents at the time had no children, but my dad wanted to stay with his wife (my mom). During this time my grandma (dad's mom- whom my mom was close to) gave my mom this advice "don't throw away years of happiness yet to come over one mistake". My mom opted to stay with my dad, they went on to have 3 children of their own, and they were married 3 weeks shy of 40 years when my dad passed away. She always resented that he had a baby with someone else while they were trying to conceive but she didn't throw it in his face or remind him of it, but after he died she didn't regret staying with him after the infidelity.
So yes, you can get past this and go on to have a happy marriage. He made a truly bad mistake but it really doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
Best wishes!
Hi, Im sorry for what has happened. I think you can forgive him, if you both really love each other. I was a horrible person. We lost our house, job, he went away to school & then we lost our car. I was alone with 3 kids. I cheated got pregnant. I really did love him, wish things might have been different. I had the baby 3 months ago, he told me if I gave up baby he would stay, well I have a beautiful baby boy, no husband. Everything is my fault. But I know the love is there. We both still love each other, turn to each other, we will never be. I would like to see that if you really both love each other it can work out. I would promise that he would never ever do anything like that again if he truly loves you. I wish you the best, & all the happiness in the world. As for us he is going to clubs having as much fun as he can. As for me I am talking to this great guy. Life is hard the kids are great. Best wishes
I'd leave him... He made vows before you and God, obviously he didn't love you that much to stick to them. This is ultimately your decision. You know how much you love him and only you God know where your relationship stands and if there is deep down forgiveness in your heart. You will never forget what he did though, so that's a question only you can answer... after getting a lot of counseling either with him or by yourself. I do suggest you two separate for a while so that you can have sometime to figure out what you want to do an if you want to save your marriage.
I think, you should measure 2 important things.
1. What are your feeling to ward your husband right now? Are you really capable of sustaining your whole life with your husband after the instance?
2. How capable you are, in making your children's life?
Ask these question to yourself and decide accordingly.
The illegal baby may create problems in your family life. Also divorce will never be a pleasant thing for ur children.
My suggestion would be, know the real corrector of your Husband. If the baby is result of bad corrector, then I don't think ur's husband is donna change.
It depends on if the baby was conceived from a one time thing you can get past or an affair that indicates other issues. If he was seeing someone else for a period of time then that is unforgiveable. He doesn't get to lead a double life, then cry remorse when he gets caught. Also consider that if it was an affair, he is going to have lots of contact with the new mother. i hope he doesn't, but their relationship might start back up with the euphoria of a new baby. I'm just saying...
The question here is, "is your husband still seeing the girl or showing signs that he is attracted still to the girl?"
the answer will always depend on how much you love your husband and how much you're willing to forget about his mistakes, if you do forgive him, make sure that you will fully accept his child despite the fact that it's not yours. here's the deal, if your marriage is far more important, as well as your children, however, if this issue still can't be resolved because your husband is not sorry for what he did and keeps on committing mistakes, then you have to let it go
I say everyone makes mistakes, and only you have the answer of weather to forgive him or not. Maybe you should ask yourself if loosing him will do any good, or sticking with him through thick and thin is what you want if you truly love this man. Also if this baby turns out to be his, you can't forget the fact that this mother will be in your life's as well....
He does not "love you very much" if he was capable of such betrayal!
And the only reason he has confessed to his sordid affair is the fact that he is not able to hide the living consequence!
Are you ready to deal with "his" extracurricular child as a sibling to your children?
How will you explain "dear Daddy's" immoral conduct to your children?
Are you prepared to deal with "the other woman" for the next 18 years?
Think long and hard before you forgive this cheater who had unprotected sex with a stranger, exposing you and your children to stds without a care!
You can forgive him but you do not have to be with him anymore if you do not because of adultery....
I fell forgiveness will give you peace of mind and this puts his action back on him....
If I was you I would divorce. Allow joint custody so the kids can see their father and new sibling and forgive him and move on with life...
or
You can stay
The choice is yours....
the baby is completely a side issue
the question should be strictly limited to him having an affair
can you forgive him for having an affair
if yes, then can you deal with all the problems of having the baby in his life and all the problems of having the other woman as a permanent problem in your marriage?